I basically got no sleep last night. First, our friend J decided to spend the night, so he and Ben decided to stay up playing video games. Unfortunately, I am not unemployed/taking an easy school schedule, so I had to crash at 12:00. This is pitiful, I know, but I can't sleep without Ben, so to make up for the empty side of the bed, I called the cats in there, who cuddled with me for awhile. After about an hour of peace, however, my cat Zelda starting mewing at me. I don't know, I guess she thought I was dead. So I had to leave my hand on her back or she'd start squeaking at me again. When I have children, I will be ready, because these cats are like real babies. I'm serious.

So, I woke up groggy and bleary-eyed, since between the cats and Ben not coming to bed until 2:00 AM, I spend most of the night tossing and turning. My day of classes dragged on with painful languidness until finally, blessedly, the day drew to a close, and I returned home.

Something amazing awaited me when I came home. The house was spotless. I smelled a rich, salty aroma wafting from the kitchen, and heard food sizzling on the stove. Gleefully my kittens bounded over to greet me, weaving about my ankles. Ben rushed over to wrap me up in a bracing hug.

"Baby, you're gorgeous. You're glowing."

There's nothing like coming home to a rare scene of domestic bliss and a sweet husband to make you feel fresh and happy. It's not in my nature to pause and absorb wonderful moments like this, but I need to. If I don't, I'll let the stressful situations around me cloud up my mind, forcing all the good thoughts out. Being a chronic pessimist isn't much fun. However, I have to stop and marvel at my husband for a little while. Despite all his flaws, the boy at least knows how to make me feel better when I'm having a bad day.

Now, I have to go - my cat is stepping on my computer. He's staring at me, meowing - now his tail is in my face. It's only a matter of time before he starts gnawing on the power cord.

More Bad News... Or Maybe It's Good... I Don't Know...

Ben, poor kid, just had his dreams crushed.

Yesterday he spend the entire day on the phone with a local trade school, setting himself up for an appointment with a representative, paying the $50.00 application fee, and discussing future salaries he could expect to earn with his projected degree plan. He was so excited when I came home from school that afternoon. He sat me down, beaming eagerly at me like some kind of puppy desperately seeking the approval of its owner, and walked me through the notes he'd diligently taken.

Today, he started researching the school, and discovered it to be a huge scam. Apparently, a vast majority of employers do not recognize the school as a legitimate academic institution. Honestly, we were astounded. Not only because of the school's horrible reputation, but because we actually almost fell for it. School, I thought, was tightly regulated by the government. Apparently you can get away with charging students an obscene tuition (cough $70k cough) without informing them that the piece of paper they'll receive at the end if virtually useless. A group of students are actually suing the school for deception. Amazing.

So, that plan is out, and let me tell you, Ben is in a foul mood. He's just been sitting there, watching T.V. He applied for a job at a grocery store today. They just told him to apply online. Everyone just tells you to apply online. How are you supposed to make an impression - to show these people you are willing to work, that you are human - if you can't even speak to someone. It amazes me how there's this technological barrier to getting even the most mundane of jobs. Don't get me wrong, we're still plucking away - we just don't want to resort to Ben waiting tables, due to the odd hours and the fickle pay. I'm not losing hope yet, but this news about the school was a blow.

I feel a little unsettled by the whole thing. We could have lost a LOT of money that we truly do not have. Our next step is to send Ben to a community college with hopes to transfer to a university with good grades. Poor guy. I think for Ben, this feeling of helplessness is grating against his take-charge nature. Oh, well. At least we didn't lose 70 grand.